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Top Ten List
Last week, our Top Ten List featured ways that prove that one is a 'manly' man. The thing is, over the years attitudes have changed, and in some places, the 'sensitive' male is now in vogue. So how does one go about that? Here are Ten Ways to prove to the world that man can be a caring soul.
10. Wear pullover sweaters, maybe draped around your neck,with the arms tied. Kind of the "Biff from Lambda Chi' look. If you don't own one, a sweater vest could work in a pinch.
9. Moisturize. Because who wants dry skin?
8. Drink only wine, or imported bottles of beer. Nothing out of the tap, unless it is something exotic like Guinness or something else imported.
7. At a restaurant, and when they ask if you would like a glass of water, say "yes but with a slice of lemon, please."
6. Real leather shoes. Get rid of anything that reeks of Chinese plastic.
5. Own nothing polyester. Actually this rule applies to everyone, everywhere and in all walks of life. The only people who get an exception are professional bowlers. For the rest of us, there can be no synthetics at all. This is actually done for safety reasons. We all know what happens when you stand to close to a heat register and are polyester.
4. Take your poodle out for a walk.
3. Your car doesn't get washed. Nope. Now it goes in to get 'detailed'.
2. At dinnertime, you eat all of your salad. And there is no complaining that about it filling you up before the steak arrives.
And finally the number one way to let people know that you are a 'sensitive' man..
1. You record Glee and Dowton Abbey on your DVR. That way you can watch them when you got time, that kind of thing..
Thanks, back Tuesday with another So as I was Saying essay.
We will talk soon
Jeff
10. Wear pullover sweaters, maybe draped around your neck,with the arms tied. Kind of the "Biff from Lambda Chi' look. If you don't own one, a sweater vest could work in a pinch.
9. Moisturize. Because who wants dry skin?
8. Drink only wine, or imported bottles of beer. Nothing out of the tap, unless it is something exotic like Guinness or something else imported.
7. At a restaurant, and when they ask if you would like a glass of water, say "yes but with a slice of lemon, please."
6. Real leather shoes. Get rid of anything that reeks of Chinese plastic.
5. Own nothing polyester. Actually this rule applies to everyone, everywhere and in all walks of life. The only people who get an exception are professional bowlers. For the rest of us, there can be no synthetics at all. This is actually done for safety reasons. We all know what happens when you stand to close to a heat register and are polyester.
4. Take your poodle out for a walk.
3. Your car doesn't get washed. Nope. Now it goes in to get 'detailed'.
2. At dinnertime, you eat all of your salad. And there is no complaining that about it filling you up before the steak arrives.
And finally the number one way to let people know that you are a 'sensitive' man..
1. You record Glee and Dowton Abbey on your DVR. That way you can watch them when you got time, that kind of thing..
Thanks, back Tuesday with another So as I was Saying essay.
We will talk soon
Jeff
Person of the Week
With the coming of the new year, it's time to start the 'awards season'. You know, the Golden Globes, the Oscars, Grammy's, Emmy's, Tony's, People's Choice, you name it, they have an award for it. Best music, best TV show, who do the people like, who does the kids like, who has the best music video, (which leads me to the question, do they even make music video's any more?), who has the best country video, and it goes on and on. The rich and famous love to pat themselves on the back.
Actually some of the awards shows are fun to watch. The Grammy's, which the music industry honors itself, loves to bring out the industry's best, with their 'A' material. Two years ago, Fergie and the Black Eyes Peas absolutely killed it, and last year Lady Gaga was top notch. Plus she arrived at the arena in a giant egg, which was a hoot.
The Academy Awards are also a favorite, as that is the night that the Hollywood takes it self way to seriously. It is fun watching them get all high and mighty, giving out Oscars to movies that you really never heard of, or didn't like all that much, though, I did see last year's winner, The King's Speech, and loved it.. Also, I now have an affinity for the Tony awards. While in New York last fall, I saw the 2010 winner for top musical, Memphis, and enjoyed it a great deal.
But not everyone wins and award. The great comic, Red Buttons, always used to say, "I never got a dinner. Everyone else gets one, but not me." I'm with him on that. Red and I have something in common. Our friends never came to an awards dinner in our honor. My new goal is to change that. I need to get honored at a big awards banquet. I'll think of a reason why.
Shirley Dinsdale got a dinner, are you kidding me? For years, she was a ventriloquist had a TV show in Los Angeles. Her character Judy Splinters won the first Emmy every awarded, in 1949, for Outstanding Television Personality. You can bet she got a dinner for that. Shortly thereafter, she retired from show business, and became a Cardiopulmonary therapist. She passed away in 1999.
But she got her award, and her friends got to eat cold chicken and green beans in her honor. This week, she's our Person of the Week.
See you Sunday with another Top Ten List
We will talk soon
Jeff
Actually some of the awards shows are fun to watch. The Grammy's, which the music industry honors itself, loves to bring out the industry's best, with their 'A' material. Two years ago, Fergie and the Black Eyes Peas absolutely killed it, and last year Lady Gaga was top notch. Plus she arrived at the arena in a giant egg, which was a hoot.
The Academy Awards are also a favorite, as that is the night that the Hollywood takes it self way to seriously. It is fun watching them get all high and mighty, giving out Oscars to movies that you really never heard of, or didn't like all that much, though, I did see last year's winner, The King's Speech, and loved it.. Also, I now have an affinity for the Tony awards. While in New York last fall, I saw the 2010 winner for top musical, Memphis, and enjoyed it a great deal.
But not everyone wins and award. The great comic, Red Buttons, always used to say, "I never got a dinner. Everyone else gets one, but not me." I'm with him on that. Red and I have something in common. Our friends never came to an awards dinner in our honor. My new goal is to change that. I need to get honored at a big awards banquet. I'll think of a reason why.
Shirley Dinsdale got a dinner, are you kidding me? For years, she was a ventriloquist had a TV show in Los Angeles. Her character Judy Splinters won the first Emmy every awarded, in 1949, for Outstanding Television Personality. You can bet she got a dinner for that. Shortly thereafter, she retired from show business, and became a Cardiopulmonary therapist. She passed away in 1999.
But she got her award, and her friends got to eat cold chicken and green beans in her honor. This week, she's our Person of the Week.
See you Sunday with another Top Ten List
We will talk soon
Jeff
So as I was Saying
I almost killed my dog the other day, and I feel terrible about it. As well I should. If you ask me, I'd tell you it wasn't my fault. If you would ask the dog, I'm certain he would beg to differ. HK believes that her dogs could do no wrong, so that makes it my fault. Maybe I better explain.
Over the years, I've told you about our dogs. We have a female golden doodle (standard poodle, golden retriever mix) who runs the house, and a male Jack Russell terrier, Oliver, who is the enforcer of all rules. Even as he is getting older, and slowing down a bit, you still don't want to cross him.
Now it says on it's website, Jack Russell's aren't for everyone. They are extremely intelligent, resourceful, with a very strong instinct that can get them in trouble. If you have the patience, they can be a great dog. Over the years, we have had to have a lot of patience with him, which he does pay back. He is very loyal, loving and protective. Nothing happens in that house without him knowing about it. You just make sure to stay on his good side.
As a fighter he can be nasty. He has never bitten a human, but everything else he has. More than a few times HK or myself has had to grab Ollie and get him out of a situation, before it gets out of control, and some other animal gets hurt badly of even killed. He is like a gunfighter, cunning and charming. He goes off to kill, and comes back like nothing ever happened. Over the years, I have seen him lose only two fights. Both to the same 'critter'. A mean, nasty, feral cat that patrols the back alley.
When an animal loses a fight, ordinarily they try to avoid that situation. Not Oliver. He is obsessed with that cat. Revenge is his motivation. We keep him inside, but when he does escape, he heads right to the alley to find his old buddy. That cat is in his head. On occasion, when Oliver is inside, that cat will come on the porch and torment him through the windows. That just drives Ollie crazy.
So last week, that's what happened. That afternoon, the cat showed up on the porch, and teased my guy. Oliver didn't forget and was waiting for an opportunity to get out. And I gave it to him.
About 11 p.m. or so, I was shutting the house down to retire for the night. Problem is, I had left my phone in the car, and needed to go get it. The temperature was below zero, but I figured I make a quick dash out to the driveway and retrieve it. When I opened the door and took off, I didn't see that Oliver had followed me out, went through the gate that I left open, and was off for a 'scuff' with that cat.
I found the phone, ran back to the house, shut gate, went in and locked the door. At that point, I finished up turning off the lights, closed up the the fireplace down, and was looking to settle down.. As I am getting ready to head upstairs for the night, I hear Oliver barking. The barks sounded like they were coming from a distance, and I figured he was upstairs in bed. And true to his personality, he was mad about something. I was right.
When I got upstairs, he was still barking. Except he wasn't where I thought he was. In fact, he was nowhere to be found.
So I take off down the stairs, and start looking around. In checking all of his hiding spots, it was clear that he hadn't been in any of them for quite a while. By now, the barking had stopped, but I panicking, no Oliver. I went back out to the sub-zero back yard, to look around, but couldn't find him anywhere.
Back in the house I go, checking under blankets, in his food dish (don't ask), out on the screened in front porch. Still no trace. By now, twenty minutes or so passed.
He had to be outside. I mean, I checked the entire house, and he wasn't there. So again, I head outside, wearing, slippers, shorts and a tee-shirt. I'm not really all that sure what I would have done, had I had head off the alley and find him. Fortunately that didn't happen.
I'm looking everywhere in the yard, when I caught a flash of white, out of the side my eye. "Oliver", he looked up, and started jumping. (Jack Russell's jump. It's the darndest thing you have ever seen. My guy has a higher vertical leap than I do. By a great deal).
The second I opened the gate, he ran up the back stairs and to the house as fast as he could. He does have short hair, and he was frozen to the bone. Once in the house, he continued in a dead sprint, up the stairs, and onto my spot on the bed, and right to sleep. He didn't look back once.
In the couple of minutes it took me to lock the door, and shut the lights off, and get up the stairs, he was spread out all over my area. When I woke him up to move him, he was more irate than usual. I could almost recognize the look in his eye. "Let me see if I understand this. You leave Me outside in the bitter cold, and then you kick me out of this warm spot, because YOU want to lay down here? Come on, man."
He was so mad at me, he wouldn't hang out for a couple days. I couldn't touch or even get within a few feet of him. Finally, after dinner one night, I gave him some 'people' food, which got me back on the Christmas card list. But even though it has been a week now, he still won't sit up and watch TV with me at night. When HK goes up, Oliver is right behind her. He still doesn't trust me. Come on Oliver, it was an accident. I didn't know you were there.
He doesn't believe me.
Back Thursday with another Person of the Week
We will talk soon
Jeff
Over the years, I've told you about our dogs. We have a female golden doodle (standard poodle, golden retriever mix) who runs the house, and a male Jack Russell terrier, Oliver, who is the enforcer of all rules. Even as he is getting older, and slowing down a bit, you still don't want to cross him.
Now it says on it's website, Jack Russell's aren't for everyone. They are extremely intelligent, resourceful, with a very strong instinct that can get them in trouble. If you have the patience, they can be a great dog. Over the years, we have had to have a lot of patience with him, which he does pay back. He is very loyal, loving and protective. Nothing happens in that house without him knowing about it. You just make sure to stay on his good side.
As a fighter he can be nasty. He has never bitten a human, but everything else he has. More than a few times HK or myself has had to grab Ollie and get him out of a situation, before it gets out of control, and some other animal gets hurt badly of even killed. He is like a gunfighter, cunning and charming. He goes off to kill, and comes back like nothing ever happened. Over the years, I have seen him lose only two fights. Both to the same 'critter'. A mean, nasty, feral cat that patrols the back alley.
When an animal loses a fight, ordinarily they try to avoid that situation. Not Oliver. He is obsessed with that cat. Revenge is his motivation. We keep him inside, but when he does escape, he heads right to the alley to find his old buddy. That cat is in his head. On occasion, when Oliver is inside, that cat will come on the porch and torment him through the windows. That just drives Ollie crazy.
So last week, that's what happened. That afternoon, the cat showed up on the porch, and teased my guy. Oliver didn't forget and was waiting for an opportunity to get out. And I gave it to him.
About 11 p.m. or so, I was shutting the house down to retire for the night. Problem is, I had left my phone in the car, and needed to go get it. The temperature was below zero, but I figured I make a quick dash out to the driveway and retrieve it. When I opened the door and took off, I didn't see that Oliver had followed me out, went through the gate that I left open, and was off for a 'scuff' with that cat.
I found the phone, ran back to the house, shut gate, went in and locked the door. At that point, I finished up turning off the lights, closed up the the fireplace down, and was looking to settle down.. As I am getting ready to head upstairs for the night, I hear Oliver barking. The barks sounded like they were coming from a distance, and I figured he was upstairs in bed. And true to his personality, he was mad about something. I was right.
When I got upstairs, he was still barking. Except he wasn't where I thought he was. In fact, he was nowhere to be found.
So I take off down the stairs, and start looking around. In checking all of his hiding spots, it was clear that he hadn't been in any of them for quite a while. By now, the barking had stopped, but I panicking, no Oliver. I went back out to the sub-zero back yard, to look around, but couldn't find him anywhere.
Back in the house I go, checking under blankets, in his food dish (don't ask), out on the screened in front porch. Still no trace. By now, twenty minutes or so passed.
He had to be outside. I mean, I checked the entire house, and he wasn't there. So again, I head outside, wearing, slippers, shorts and a tee-shirt. I'm not really all that sure what I would have done, had I had head off the alley and find him. Fortunately that didn't happen.
I'm looking everywhere in the yard, when I caught a flash of white, out of the side my eye. "Oliver", he looked up, and started jumping. (Jack Russell's jump. It's the darndest thing you have ever seen. My guy has a higher vertical leap than I do. By a great deal).
The second I opened the gate, he ran up the back stairs and to the house as fast as he could. He does have short hair, and he was frozen to the bone. Once in the house, he continued in a dead sprint, up the stairs, and onto my spot on the bed, and right to sleep. He didn't look back once.
In the couple of minutes it took me to lock the door, and shut the lights off, and get up the stairs, he was spread out all over my area. When I woke him up to move him, he was more irate than usual. I could almost recognize the look in his eye. "Let me see if I understand this. You leave Me outside in the bitter cold, and then you kick me out of this warm spot, because YOU want to lay down here? Come on, man."
He was so mad at me, he wouldn't hang out for a couple days. I couldn't touch or even get within a few feet of him. Finally, after dinner one night, I gave him some 'people' food, which got me back on the Christmas card list. But even though it has been a week now, he still won't sit up and watch TV with me at night. When HK goes up, Oliver is right behind her. He still doesn't trust me. Come on Oliver, it was an accident. I didn't know you were there.
He doesn't believe me.
Back Thursday with another Person of the Week
We will talk soon
Jeff
Top Ten List
So what makes a man a man? That's a good question, and deserves an honest answer. This question was brought up by a friend of mine last week, so I thought I give him ten things that would help become a top flight male human being. Maybe I should teach a class or something.
10. Listen to country music. Any man worth his salt will listen to, and perhaps get a bit emotional, while listening to the music of Nashville. I mean it has everything, dogs, pickup trucks, mama, trains. Why listen to anything else?
9. Watch wresting, drink beer all while sitting in your underwear. I'm not sure any explanation is needed. Just try not to think about the visual.
8. Never, ever ask for directions. "We don't need a map, I know right where we are."
7. Put the parental blocker on Glee and Dowton Abbey. The wife and kids can watch wrestling, like real men.
6. Get some wood pieces, and leave them laying around your basement, so it looks like work is being done. "This is a bookshelf I'm building, and here is half a birdhouse. These boards here, are for the refinish job I'm doing in the basement. I'm building a kitchen, bathroom and two more bedrooms down here."
5. "You can keep Barrymore and Olivier. I'll take the Fox NFL Robot playing Hamlet any day." Your wife may think you are so intelligent and insightful. Or she'll think you're a dork.
4. Why spend the money on fancy shoes, when you can wear your work boots? Even to church. I mean, they look fine. Right?
3. Belch. Nothing says 'romance' to your wife, then a good old fashion burp. You can do that while watch wrestling.
2. Brag about old sports glories, "Once in high school, I ran for 600 yards in one football game. And in basketball, one night I scored 140 points. You could look it up, but no one wrote down records back then."
And finally, the number one thing that a 'real man' needs to do.
1. Barbeque. Even if you have never cooked anything in your life, once that grill is fired up, it's time to show them all. For added effect, get one of those "World's greatest Barbequer' apron.
Back Tuesday with another So as I was Saying essay.
We will talk soon
Jeff
10. Listen to country music. Any man worth his salt will listen to, and perhaps get a bit emotional, while listening to the music of Nashville. I mean it has everything, dogs, pickup trucks, mama, trains. Why listen to anything else?
9. Watch wresting, drink beer all while sitting in your underwear. I'm not sure any explanation is needed. Just try not to think about the visual.
8. Never, ever ask for directions. "We don't need a map, I know right where we are."
7. Put the parental blocker on Glee and Dowton Abbey. The wife and kids can watch wrestling, like real men.
6. Get some wood pieces, and leave them laying around your basement, so it looks like work is being done. "This is a bookshelf I'm building, and here is half a birdhouse. These boards here, are for the refinish job I'm doing in the basement. I'm building a kitchen, bathroom and two more bedrooms down here."
5. "You can keep Barrymore and Olivier. I'll take the Fox NFL Robot playing Hamlet any day." Your wife may think you are so intelligent and insightful. Or she'll think you're a dork.
4. Why spend the money on fancy shoes, when you can wear your work boots? Even to church. I mean, they look fine. Right?
3. Belch. Nothing says 'romance' to your wife, then a good old fashion burp. You can do that while watch wrestling.
2. Brag about old sports glories, "Once in high school, I ran for 600 yards in one football game. And in basketball, one night I scored 140 points. You could look it up, but no one wrote down records back then."
And finally, the number one thing that a 'real man' needs to do.
1. Barbeque. Even if you have never cooked anything in your life, once that grill is fired up, it's time to show them all. For added effect, get one of those "World's greatest Barbequer' apron.
Back Tuesday with another So as I was Saying essay.
We will talk soon
Jeff
Person of the Week
I got a new hero. His name is Raylan Givens, and he is a deputy U.S. Marshall on the brilliant television show Justified, which is on the F/X network. Givens is the kind of guy, who has very defined way of getting to the bad guys. That is he uses his gun a great deal, as he keeps Harlan County, Kentucky clean from crime.
But this story isn't about Givens or the TV program. It is about the creator of the series, the great writer, and Detroit resident Elmore Leonard. In the world of great crime/western writers, Leonard is the best there is. To quote the ex-football coach Bum Phillips, "he may not be at be in a class of his own, but it sure doesn't take long to call the roll." That certainly describes Leonard.
His writing style is very distinct. In his crime novels, you can almost feel the grit and grime of the city (In Detroit, there is a lot of grit and grime), as he tells the story. It really becomes a theater of the mind, as you can see the images as it's described on the pages.
If you watch his characters on TV or the movies, you have to pay attention to the storytelling, so you can can feel the desperation and turmoil going on inside their heads. They are all flawed as people, but Leonard does a great job of making them sympathetic to the viewer or reader, which is all that much more compelling, and interesting to watch or read.
That's all fine and good with his crime drama's (such as Get Shorty, Mr. Majestyk starring Charles Bronson, Jackie Brown, ect.), but he does the same thing with his western novels. If you want to see a great one from that genre, get a hold 3:10 to Yuma, starring Russell Crowe. That too, is a Leonard story, that will keep you glued to your seat the entire time you are watching it.
So anyway, the reason I bring this up is, this past Tuesday was the start of the new season of Justified. Already it promises to be great. Which of course we have come to expect with our Person of the Week, Elmore Leonard. And we will make Raylan our Honorable mention, Person of the Week for catching all the bad guys.
We are here Sunday with another Top Ten List..
We will talk soon
Jeff
But this story isn't about Givens or the TV program. It is about the creator of the series, the great writer, and Detroit resident Elmore Leonard. In the world of great crime/western writers, Leonard is the best there is. To quote the ex-football coach Bum Phillips, "he may not be at be in a class of his own, but it sure doesn't take long to call the roll." That certainly describes Leonard.
His writing style is very distinct. In his crime novels, you can almost feel the grit and grime of the city (In Detroit, there is a lot of grit and grime), as he tells the story. It really becomes a theater of the mind, as you can see the images as it's described on the pages.
If you watch his characters on TV or the movies, you have to pay attention to the storytelling, so you can can feel the desperation and turmoil going on inside their heads. They are all flawed as people, but Leonard does a great job of making them sympathetic to the viewer or reader, which is all that much more compelling, and interesting to watch or read.
That's all fine and good with his crime drama's (such as Get Shorty, Mr. Majestyk starring Charles Bronson, Jackie Brown, ect.), but he does the same thing with his western novels. If you want to see a great one from that genre, get a hold 3:10 to Yuma, starring Russell Crowe. That too, is a Leonard story, that will keep you glued to your seat the entire time you are watching it.
So anyway, the reason I bring this up is, this past Tuesday was the start of the new season of Justified. Already it promises to be great. Which of course we have come to expect with our Person of the Week, Elmore Leonard. And we will make Raylan our Honorable mention, Person of the Week for catching all the bad guys.
We are here Sunday with another Top Ten List..
We will talk soon
Jeff
So as I was Saying
Well now that the holiday's are over, it's time for the winter blahs to set in. It is usually so depressing this time of year, as we fight the snow, cold and whatnot. So this year, I decided to do something about it. Winter isn't going to get me down, I'm going to put up a fight.
A month or two ago, I received a flyer in the mail. It was from the parks department, talking about various classes and activities that are offered through out the winter. It was about to find it's way into the fire place, when for some reason, I picked it up, and thumbed through it.
Like many of us, when stuff like that comes through the mail, it usually doesn't get looked at it. But I had been thinking about the onset of winter, and what, if anything, to do about it. So, when this thing came to my house, I started looking through it. It got me thinking. I too, can be a Renaissance man, like Di Vinci, Monet, or Shakespeare. Or maybe I be a sculptor, like those Greek guys who started my college fraternity.
One would think that the possibilities would be endless, but reality had to take over. I'm not real artistic, and since I don't really don't understand how it works, the pottery classes were out ("It's an ashtray or a giraffe. Believe me.") Oil painting might be kind of cool, but it would involved one thing that I fight at all costs. Getting my hands dirty. So just as I was about to give up on the cultural thing, I spotted it. Just popping off the page at me. 'Beginning Guitar'.
Now I have talked about my musical talents before in this space. I played the French Horn in school, though no one is supposed to know about it (now over 40,000 do. Tell your friends, we can add to that number). And to be perfectly honest, I was a terrible in the band. Couldn't march, but that was okay, since I couldn't play the instrument either. But over the years, I have developed a love of music (jazz and blues), and have had some regrets about not taking my musical education a little more seriously. So I look at taking a guitar instruction class like a second chance. So I jumped all over it. Then I picked it up, and called the phone number.
It was seventy buck for seven lessons. After that, there is a second session if I want for another 70 bucks. It starts in early January and continues on into March. Right in the middle of the drudgery and muck. Long enough to get out of the funk.
So I paid the money, went out and bought a acoustic guitar, and am giving it a shot. So far it has been a blast.
I'm honest about it. Certainly I'm not "Haric Clapton' by any means, nor will I be. But it will be fun, and something for me. If I can learn a few chords, and am able to strum a song or two, I'll be happy. Hey, who knows, maybe I can go the front porch and sing "Down in the Valley" like Barney and Andy.
Last week was my first class. There are four student in our group, all over age fifty. The instructor is older yet, and he just loves to pick and sing. Which is fine, except none of us can join him. That's why we are there. About ten minutes in, he says, "Don't worry about the singing, I got it covered. Just follow along."
So you had these four people in a room, trying to pick a guitar, and sing "Row, Row, Row your boat". Truthfully it sounded like cats crying/ I didn't hear the noise at all, as I was having a great time. The instructor would say "be sure to tap your foot to the beat" and start in with singing another song. "Does anyone 'On top of Spaghetti/" For a while, I thought I was hanging with Briscoe Darling himself.
I will say that he is doing a pretty good job teaching us the basic chords, and thus far I have no complaints. After two classes, and a week of practicing every day (which I never did with the French Horn) my fingers are pretty sore, but I really don't mind. Although I may not be able to do much on the guitar yet (I've still working to master 'Happy Birthday' and 'Jingle Bells'), I am making some kind of music, and that's what it is all about. Plus I'm beating the winter blues.
The moral of this whole thing? Don't sit around wanting to so do something, go out and do it. I'm already thinking about next winter, and what I'll do then. Maybe pottery, or I'll finally learn how to play the bagpipes sitting in the trunk of my car.
Come back Thursday for a Person of the Week
We will talk soon
Jeff
A month or two ago, I received a flyer in the mail. It was from the parks department, talking about various classes and activities that are offered through out the winter. It was about to find it's way into the fire place, when for some reason, I picked it up, and thumbed through it.
Like many of us, when stuff like that comes through the mail, it usually doesn't get looked at it. But I had been thinking about the onset of winter, and what, if anything, to do about it. So, when this thing came to my house, I started looking through it. It got me thinking. I too, can be a Renaissance man, like Di Vinci, Monet, or Shakespeare. Or maybe I be a sculptor, like those Greek guys who started my college fraternity.
One would think that the possibilities would be endless, but reality had to take over. I'm not real artistic, and since I don't really don't understand how it works, the pottery classes were out ("It's an ashtray or a giraffe. Believe me.") Oil painting might be kind of cool, but it would involved one thing that I fight at all costs. Getting my hands dirty. So just as I was about to give up on the cultural thing, I spotted it. Just popping off the page at me. 'Beginning Guitar'.
Now I have talked about my musical talents before in this space. I played the French Horn in school, though no one is supposed to know about it (now over 40,000 do. Tell your friends, we can add to that number). And to be perfectly honest, I was a terrible in the band. Couldn't march, but that was okay, since I couldn't play the instrument either. But over the years, I have developed a love of music (jazz and blues), and have had some regrets about not taking my musical education a little more seriously. So I look at taking a guitar instruction class like a second chance. So I jumped all over it. Then I picked it up, and called the phone number.
It was seventy buck for seven lessons. After that, there is a second session if I want for another 70 bucks. It starts in early January and continues on into March. Right in the middle of the drudgery and muck. Long enough to get out of the funk.
So I paid the money, went out and bought a acoustic guitar, and am giving it a shot. So far it has been a blast.
I'm honest about it. Certainly I'm not "Haric Clapton' by any means, nor will I be. But it will be fun, and something for me. If I can learn a few chords, and am able to strum a song or two, I'll be happy. Hey, who knows, maybe I can go the front porch and sing "Down in the Valley" like Barney and Andy.
Last week was my first class. There are four student in our group, all over age fifty. The instructor is older yet, and he just loves to pick and sing. Which is fine, except none of us can join him. That's why we are there. About ten minutes in, he says, "Don't worry about the singing, I got it covered. Just follow along."
So you had these four people in a room, trying to pick a guitar, and sing "Row, Row, Row your boat". Truthfully it sounded like cats crying/ I didn't hear the noise at all, as I was having a great time. The instructor would say "be sure to tap your foot to the beat" and start in with singing another song. "Does anyone 'On top of Spaghetti/" For a while, I thought I was hanging with Briscoe Darling himself.
I will say that he is doing a pretty good job teaching us the basic chords, and thus far I have no complaints. After two classes, and a week of practicing every day (which I never did with the French Horn) my fingers are pretty sore, but I really don't mind. Although I may not be able to do much on the guitar yet (I've still working to master 'Happy Birthday' and 'Jingle Bells'), I am making some kind of music, and that's what it is all about. Plus I'm beating the winter blues.
The moral of this whole thing? Don't sit around wanting to so do something, go out and do it. I'm already thinking about next winter, and what I'll do then. Maybe pottery, or I'll finally learn how to play the bagpipes sitting in the trunk of my car.
Come back Thursday for a Person of the Week
We will talk soon
Jeff
Top Ten List
It can truthfully be said that my life has changed a great deal in the past few years. I used to live in an old trailer, and ate Captain Crunch and Big Mac's three meals a day. That all went by the wayside, when I met HK. She does a great deal to keep me going in the right direction. Tonight in the Top Ten List, I'll explain some of those things, and why it's necessary.
10. Chauffeur. When we go anywhere, she insists we take her car and that she does all the driving. All of it. It really doesn't bother me, since every time I drive, she starts complaining even before we pull out of the driveway. Even if we take 12 hour car trips, she does all the driving. No problemo.
9. Skipper of the boat. Again, with the driving thing. This time on the water. What bothers me, is it takes her about two seconds to make the decision. "No Hare, sit in the back". One of my goals in life is to drive the boat. I don't see it happening any time soon. Of course it is the middle of winter.
8. Dog walker. Of course, they're her dogs. But, do you know what it would cost to hire a dog walker?
7. Political pundit. If you know HK, you are very aware of her leftward political leaning. She does a good job making sure those around her know about it also. I have my own political consultant, and I don't have to leave my living room.
6. Laundress. The only reason she does my laundry, is she says I am incompetent to run the washer. Something about replacing the pump twice, and repairing it another time.
5. Appliance repair person. As I said above, we had to replace the pump twice, and repair it another time. In fairness to me, the tools belong to her and to quote Benjamin Franklin, "Be not a borrower or lender be." Believe me, if's for the best.
4. Movie Critic. Me, "What do you say, we go see the Dukes of Hazard. Jessica Simpson is in it." HK, "We will not watch such drivel. There is some highbrow English thing on, with actors from Masterpiece Theater. We need to go see that. I'll drive." I get culture that way.
3. Fire builder. She used to be a Camp Fire Girl. Me? I could see the house burning down. It would be back to the trailer for sure.
2. Mexican Restaurant expert. It must be some kind of mental thing, but when I go to a Mexican restaurant, I can never remember what to order. Once when HK was out of town, I had to call her and ask. "Hello." "Yea, hey I'm at Cinco de Mayo's Pancho Villa's. What do I eat here/"
"El Grande Burro." "Thanks, have a nice trip, see you when you get back."
And finally the number one thing about HK...
1. She hangs sheet rock.
Back Tuesday with another, So as I was Saying essay. We will talk soon.
.
10. Chauffeur. When we go anywhere, she insists we take her car and that she does all the driving. All of it. It really doesn't bother me, since every time I drive, she starts complaining even before we pull out of the driveway. Even if we take 12 hour car trips, she does all the driving. No problemo.
9. Skipper of the boat. Again, with the driving thing. This time on the water. What bothers me, is it takes her about two seconds to make the decision. "No Hare, sit in the back". One of my goals in life is to drive the boat. I don't see it happening any time soon. Of course it is the middle of winter.
8. Dog walker. Of course, they're her dogs. But, do you know what it would cost to hire a dog walker?
7. Political pundit. If you know HK, you are very aware of her leftward political leaning. She does a good job making sure those around her know about it also. I have my own political consultant, and I don't have to leave my living room.
6. Laundress. The only reason she does my laundry, is she says I am incompetent to run the washer. Something about replacing the pump twice, and repairing it another time.
5. Appliance repair person. As I said above, we had to replace the pump twice, and repair it another time. In fairness to me, the tools belong to her and to quote Benjamin Franklin, "Be not a borrower or lender be." Believe me, if's for the best.
4. Movie Critic. Me, "What do you say, we go see the Dukes of Hazard. Jessica Simpson is in it." HK, "We will not watch such drivel. There is some highbrow English thing on, with actors from Masterpiece Theater. We need to go see that. I'll drive." I get culture that way.
3. Fire builder. She used to be a Camp Fire Girl. Me? I could see the house burning down. It would be back to the trailer for sure.
2. Mexican Restaurant expert. It must be some kind of mental thing, but when I go to a Mexican restaurant, I can never remember what to order. Once when HK was out of town, I had to call her and ask. "Hello." "Yea, hey I'm at Cinco de Mayo's Pancho Villa's. What do I eat here/"
"El Grande Burro." "Thanks, have a nice trip, see you when you get back."
And finally the number one thing about HK...
1. She hangs sheet rock.
Back Tuesday with another, So as I was Saying essay. We will talk soon.
.
Person of the Week
So whats the deal with Tim Tebow? Has there ever been an athlete that has polarized the sport world as much as this guy has? It's really hard to understand why. Ever since his days as a high school football quarterback at Nease High School in Ponte Verde, Florida, through his college years at Florida and on into his NFL career with the Denver Broncos, Tebow has been the one player, that people love to hate.
The thing is, he has been extremely successful at all levels of his sport. In high school, he was the two time Florida football player of the year, and a Parade magazine All-American. As a Gator, he was the first sophomore ever to win the Heisman Trophy. Oh yea, under his watch, his team won two national championships. He was a first round draft pick by the Denver Broncos, and in his second year, he led them to a division title, with a thrilling playoff win over the Pittsburgh Steelers. And still, to quote Rodney Dangerfield, he gets no respect.
In fairness, some of the criticism is valid. His passing technique is loathed by NFL coaches and scouts. The coach that drafted him in the NFL was fired, and drafting Tebow was said to be a reason. His statistic line borders between 'bad' and 'terrible'. Sometimes he looks like NFL great John Unitas on the field, and others he looks like Millie Unitas. But the one that that he does very well, is win games. And like any superstar, he makes everyone around him play better. Usually that means another mark in the 'W' column. Many pundits had the Broncos as the 'worst team' going in to the 2011 season. But someway, somehow, Tebow led and rallied this team to victory more that a few times..
Off the field, he has a tendency to discuss his religious views quite openly, which puts off many people. But in reality, he isn't the first football player to ever discuss religion, and certainly won't be the last. .But the athletes who have done it in the past, in no way inspired the pure vitriol (yes, it is a new word. I hope you like it.) that Tebow does. And no one seems to know why.
There is one thing that everyone who has ever met him agrees on. He is very nice person. Every where he has ever played, his teammates love him. He treats the fans and media will respect. He visits hospitals and gives away game tickets to sick and underprivileged kids for everygame, both home and away. Even before the playoff win over Pittsburgh, (which by the way, was won on a 80 yard Tebow touchdown pass in overtime), he had spent time with a young girl who had 72 surgeries. Most people enjoy being around him, as he seems to inspire everyone he comes in contact with. Yet he still gets takes an awful a lot of abuse from detractors.
There are those who say the success that he and his team has had, is due to divine intervention. They point to Tebow's late game heroics, with the comeback wins, and think that God woke up one day a Bronco fan. Personally, I don't believe that, but it has been said more than once.. In my mind, Denver wins because of a solid defense, good running game, and a quarterback (Tebow) who keeps plugging away, and makes plays when they are needed. I'm not sure that he will end up as one of the all-time greats, but certainly won't be one of the worst to suit up either.
All I know is that, love him or hate him, it has been a great fun seeing him take the field. I'm not alone in that thought, as TV ratings for the Bronco's have been sky high since he became the starting quarterback. He is one of those guys, you just can't take your eyes off. He's going to do something and you don't want to miss it. Denver has a tough one this weekend against the Patriots in New England. But for now, Tim Tebow is our Person of the Week.
Back Sunday with another Top Ten List
We will talk soon
Jeff
The thing is, he has been extremely successful at all levels of his sport. In high school, he was the two time Florida football player of the year, and a Parade magazine All-American. As a Gator, he was the first sophomore ever to win the Heisman Trophy. Oh yea, under his watch, his team won two national championships. He was a first round draft pick by the Denver Broncos, and in his second year, he led them to a division title, with a thrilling playoff win over the Pittsburgh Steelers. And still, to quote Rodney Dangerfield, he gets no respect.
In fairness, some of the criticism is valid. His passing technique is loathed by NFL coaches and scouts. The coach that drafted him in the NFL was fired, and drafting Tebow was said to be a reason. His statistic line borders between 'bad' and 'terrible'. Sometimes he looks like NFL great John Unitas on the field, and others he looks like Millie Unitas. But the one that that he does very well, is win games. And like any superstar, he makes everyone around him play better. Usually that means another mark in the 'W' column. Many pundits had the Broncos as the 'worst team' going in to the 2011 season. But someway, somehow, Tebow led and rallied this team to victory more that a few times..
Off the field, he has a tendency to discuss his religious views quite openly, which puts off many people. But in reality, he isn't the first football player to ever discuss religion, and certainly won't be the last. .But the athletes who have done it in the past, in no way inspired the pure vitriol (yes, it is a new word. I hope you like it.) that Tebow does. And no one seems to know why.
There is one thing that everyone who has ever met him agrees on. He is very nice person. Every where he has ever played, his teammates love him. He treats the fans and media will respect. He visits hospitals and gives away game tickets to sick and underprivileged kids for everygame, both home and away. Even before the playoff win over Pittsburgh, (which by the way, was won on a 80 yard Tebow touchdown pass in overtime), he had spent time with a young girl who had 72 surgeries. Most people enjoy being around him, as he seems to inspire everyone he comes in contact with. Yet he still gets takes an awful a lot of abuse from detractors.
There are those who say the success that he and his team has had, is due to divine intervention. They point to Tebow's late game heroics, with the comeback wins, and think that God woke up one day a Bronco fan. Personally, I don't believe that, but it has been said more than once.. In my mind, Denver wins because of a solid defense, good running game, and a quarterback (Tebow) who keeps plugging away, and makes plays when they are needed. I'm not sure that he will end up as one of the all-time greats, but certainly won't be one of the worst to suit up either.
All I know is that, love him or hate him, it has been a great fun seeing him take the field. I'm not alone in that thought, as TV ratings for the Bronco's have been sky high since he became the starting quarterback. He is one of those guys, you just can't take your eyes off. He's going to do something and you don't want to miss it. Denver has a tough one this weekend against the Patriots in New England. But for now, Tim Tebow is our Person of the Week.
Back Sunday with another Top Ten List
We will talk soon
Jeff
So as I was Saying
The announcement came a few days ago. I read it with great trepidation. The Kmart store, where I spent a great deal of time in when I was a kid, was on the hit list, and would soon be closed. I hadn't been in that store in a few years, but hey, my disappointment should be evident.
When I was seven years old, we moved to a subdivision in the middle of nowhere. Literally. The pavement ended at our street (actually a block up, but is anyone counting?), and turned into gravel from there on. Of course, that areas is now all built up, but back then, the only thing you could see were acres of cornfields. Until one day, about a year after we moved in.
It was less than a mile away, and it would spring up out of sea of nothingness. In all of it's aqua marine (remember the smocks all the clerks wore) glory. A Kmart store was built on that empty field. A tornado had knocked down a drive-in theater that was at that spot, and the only things left standing were a bunch of speaker poles. But once that store opened, the world would arrive for for an eight year old kid.
And it had everything. A great toy department for when I was real young, and cool sporting goods (okay, the quality wasn't the best, but it was cheap). There was also a place to get your car fixed, and get your pictures taken. They had it all. At the front door, there was a big air popper,, so the whole place smelled like popcorn. My friends and I thought this was the greatest place in the world.
When I was about ten, I was allowed to walk (or ride our bikes) the mile on way to the store. I think it can safely be said, that for the next four or five years, I was at that place every day. There was no need for a reason, maybe it was buying baseball cards, or eating the sub sandwiches they sold. At the time, I thought those subs were great. When I was in my 20's I stopped in for one, and realized how bad they really were.
There was also an important lesson that I learned at Kmart. That is, never forget mothers day. Now let me preface this by saying that I really don't buy gifts well (HK and I really don't exchange presents for Christmas or birthdays. She sees what I give her, and tells me not to spend the money. That's why she is a keeper. That and she hangs drywall).
Anyway, I was ten or eleven years old, and didn't check the calendar, or whatever, and missed mothers day. Of course my sister remembered what she was supposed to do, and she was only eight. And mom gave me the "I'm not mad, only disappointed" thing.
I did get a bit lucky though. My buddy next door neighbor forgot, and his mom wasn't disappointed, she was mad. And she called my mom to express her ire. Ten minutes later, he and I made the trip to the store. my mom got a pair of grass clippers.
The thing is, the kids weren't the only ones who liked Kmart. The adults loved it. For entertainment, our next door neighbor would head over and chased the 'blue light' around. ("Attention Kmart shoppers...For the next five minutes, and five minutes only..."). Believe me, it was a lot simpler time.
And of course, things change. Kmart had some problems, and ended up struggling as a retailer and are closing many of their locations, including the one I grew up in. I do remember the last thing I ever bought there. It was about eight or nine years ago, and I needed to take something to a bowling league potluck. I stopped in and picked up a bag of potato chips. Say what you will, they were gone at the end of the dinner.
So now, as they are closing that store it just goes to show, or as Rosanne Roseannadanna (from Saturday Night Live) used to say, "It's always something.' Another vestige of my youth is gone.
Oh well. It's not like they banned the Big Mac or anything.
We will talk soon, like Thursday with another Person of the Week
Jeff
When I was seven years old, we moved to a subdivision in the middle of nowhere. Literally. The pavement ended at our street (actually a block up, but is anyone counting?), and turned into gravel from there on. Of course, that areas is now all built up, but back then, the only thing you could see were acres of cornfields. Until one day, about a year after we moved in.
It was less than a mile away, and it would spring up out of sea of nothingness. In all of it's aqua marine (remember the smocks all the clerks wore) glory. A Kmart store was built on that empty field. A tornado had knocked down a drive-in theater that was at that spot, and the only things left standing were a bunch of speaker poles. But once that store opened, the world would arrive for for an eight year old kid.
And it had everything. A great toy department for when I was real young, and cool sporting goods (okay, the quality wasn't the best, but it was cheap). There was also a place to get your car fixed, and get your pictures taken. They had it all. At the front door, there was a big air popper,, so the whole place smelled like popcorn. My friends and I thought this was the greatest place in the world.
When I was about ten, I was allowed to walk (or ride our bikes) the mile on way to the store. I think it can safely be said, that for the next four or five years, I was at that place every day. There was no need for a reason, maybe it was buying baseball cards, or eating the sub sandwiches they sold. At the time, I thought those subs were great. When I was in my 20's I stopped in for one, and realized how bad they really were.
There was also an important lesson that I learned at Kmart. That is, never forget mothers day. Now let me preface this by saying that I really don't buy gifts well (HK and I really don't exchange presents for Christmas or birthdays. She sees what I give her, and tells me not to spend the money. That's why she is a keeper. That and she hangs drywall).
Anyway, I was ten or eleven years old, and didn't check the calendar, or whatever, and missed mothers day. Of course my sister remembered what she was supposed to do, and she was only eight. And mom gave me the "I'm not mad, only disappointed" thing.
I did get a bit lucky though. My buddy next door neighbor forgot, and his mom wasn't disappointed, she was mad. And she called my mom to express her ire. Ten minutes later, he and I made the trip to the store. my mom got a pair of grass clippers.
The thing is, the kids weren't the only ones who liked Kmart. The adults loved it. For entertainment, our next door neighbor would head over and chased the 'blue light' around. ("Attention Kmart shoppers...For the next five minutes, and five minutes only..."). Believe me, it was a lot simpler time.
And of course, things change. Kmart had some problems, and ended up struggling as a retailer and are closing many of their locations, including the one I grew up in. I do remember the last thing I ever bought there. It was about eight or nine years ago, and I needed to take something to a bowling league potluck. I stopped in and picked up a bag of potato chips. Say what you will, they were gone at the end of the dinner.
So now, as they are closing that store it just goes to show, or as Rosanne Roseannadanna (from Saturday Night Live) used to say, "It's always something.' Another vestige of my youth is gone.
Oh well. It's not like they banned the Big Mac or anything.
We will talk soon, like Thursday with another Person of the Week
Jeff
Top Ten List
As we all know, this has been a very mild winter. Most of the country hasn't seen any snow, or ice, and the temperatures have been far warmer that what we are used to for this time of year. This, of course, does begs the question. What are we to do, when winter really hasn't arrived, and we are stuck in January? Here are ten things that I was able to think of.
10. Turn your furnace down very low. Then you can freeze just like any other January. If you make it cold enough, it may be warmer to go outside. When has that ever happened in midwinter?
9. Go out to the garage and sit on the snowmobile. You can always dream of a foot of new snowfall. You can also yell 'vrrom, vroom' (you know, like you're driving) real loud so the neighbors will think your crazy. ("Bill, are you okay? I heard the strangest noises out of your garage.").
8. Put on your ice skates, and walk around the house. It would do wonders in building up your ankles, though it may do terrible things to your wooden floors.
7. Get out your golf clubs, and head to the nearest indoor simulator.. Look at it this way, you will save money by not having to purchase golf tees. Plus you can pretend you are playing Pebble Beach and Augusta ("..Cinderella story, walking on the 18th fairway at Augusta...It's in the hole, it's in the hole..."). Another plus, your clubs won't get dirty by playing indoors..
6. With no snow, maybe you can get a cut rate price to visit Aspen. Of course, with Aspen, I wouldn't count on getting too good of a deal. Though you can find all sorts of bargains at the 'Mt. Trashmore' ski hills that many towns seem to have these days.
5. Speaking of saving a few bucks, with no snow you can go to the hardware store and stock up on all sidewalk salt to last the next ten years. That you can get on the cheap.
4. Go out and count your firewood. There is probably a whole lot more this year then there has been in previous January's.
3. Brag about how bad previous winters were. "I remember the winter of '02. We had 84 feet of snow, and it was always twenty below zero. To get the ten miles to school every day, I rode an old mule, and we ate coal for lunch. Those were the good old days."
2. Drive around town real slow, with your headlights lit, and windshield wipers on. Call it practice for when the real weather hits.
And finally the number one thing you can do this mild winter...
1. Wear your parka as a fashion statement. Or as they say in New York and Milan, "For the winter season, don't be caught in the cold with out your heavy coat. This winter's colors will be an exciting 'Forest Green' and an exquisite 'Beguiling Brown'."
Come on back on Tuesday, I'll have another So as I was Saying essay. .
We will talk soon
Jeff
10. Turn your furnace down very low. Then you can freeze just like any other January. If you make it cold enough, it may be warmer to go outside. When has that ever happened in midwinter?
9. Go out to the garage and sit on the snowmobile. You can always dream of a foot of new snowfall. You can also yell 'vrrom, vroom' (you know, like you're driving) real loud so the neighbors will think your crazy. ("Bill, are you okay? I heard the strangest noises out of your garage.").
8. Put on your ice skates, and walk around the house. It would do wonders in building up your ankles, though it may do terrible things to your wooden floors.
7. Get out your golf clubs, and head to the nearest indoor simulator.. Look at it this way, you will save money by not having to purchase golf tees. Plus you can pretend you are playing Pebble Beach and Augusta ("..Cinderella story, walking on the 18th fairway at Augusta...It's in the hole, it's in the hole..."). Another plus, your clubs won't get dirty by playing indoors..
6. With no snow, maybe you can get a cut rate price to visit Aspen. Of course, with Aspen, I wouldn't count on getting too good of a deal. Though you can find all sorts of bargains at the 'Mt. Trashmore' ski hills that many towns seem to have these days.
5. Speaking of saving a few bucks, with no snow you can go to the hardware store and stock up on all sidewalk salt to last the next ten years. That you can get on the cheap.
4. Go out and count your firewood. There is probably a whole lot more this year then there has been in previous January's.
3. Brag about how bad previous winters were. "I remember the winter of '02. We had 84 feet of snow, and it was always twenty below zero. To get the ten miles to school every day, I rode an old mule, and we ate coal for lunch. Those were the good old days."
2. Drive around town real slow, with your headlights lit, and windshield wipers on. Call it practice for when the real weather hits.
And finally the number one thing you can do this mild winter...
1. Wear your parka as a fashion statement. Or as they say in New York and Milan, "For the winter season, don't be caught in the cold with out your heavy coat. This winter's colors will be an exciting 'Forest Green' and an exquisite 'Beguiling Brown'."
Come on back on Tuesday, I'll have another So as I was Saying essay. .
We will talk soon
Jeff
